- This is a post from 10/15/13 from my personal blog that I am now shifting over to the Stories of my Life tab on this blog! So if you are not wanting to read personal stories, pass on by and look for the savings deals!
It’s been rough. I have had highs and lows.
I have felt far and near from you.
And in this moment, all I want is to feel your comfort wrapped around me. For I do not know how I will take my next step without your guidance. When all else fails around me, I need my soul to rest in your embrace. Like the song says,
“For I am yours, and you are mine. “
Some mornings I wake up and say, ” Again, I have to do this all over again?” Hiding under the blankets is just not an option.
Some mornings I wake up to two little feet thump thump thump thump, and nothing but a big smile fills my entire body.
Some mornings I am awake, from the numerous times of being awake caring and tending and slowing my anger of getting no sleep, to just laying in my bed, wondering will my life lead to more?
And in all these moments, I am reminded “Let my faith be made stronger. Let me walk upon the waters”
Wher eever you would call me.
Some mornings I wake up and roll over and see the empty side of my bed, where its still slightly warm from my husbands presence. I sigh thinking when is the last time we cuddled in this bed? When is the last time we just looked at each other and said I love you without saying I love you.
Some mornings I open my eyes so fast and shoot my body straight up and grab my chest from the pain of a nightmare, a dream that slips over into reality, one where my brother needs me, he is weak and is crying out. But none of us can do anything in that moment, except for fall down on our knees and pray.
That same dream I see my Mom with me and the girls getting a pedicure, but only my mom was a very old lady, and I think, How did time pass us by so fast?
Then the pain in my chest reminds me of our physical distance, and those mornings I lay in bed and do not want to get out.
So in this stage of life right now, it is so challenging, and exhausting. There are moments that are etched in your heart and fill you with so much joy, and there are days where your tears fill your kitchen sink faster than your dishes.
I don’t have any advice on how to really get through it, except for pray. Get down on your knees and surrender all your feelings to God. Get off Facebook seeing everyone who only posts the best moments in their life, because real life isn’t a perfect picture. Raising kids isn’t glorious every moment. We all struggle and we all succeed. There is only one who knows you so well, who designed and created your children for you, to you he gave these gifts. He believes in your efforts, your parenting. He loves you and wants you to seek him when you feel beat down and he will comfort you and love you endlessly. And through that love you will get back up on your feet and carry on.
It will get better. 🙂
Yes I am saying all this to myself as well!
Together in Christ, we will succeed!
” I am with you and will watch over you wherever you may go.” Genesis 28:15
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